Tracking Adult Children: Healthy or Hurtful?

By John Millen

A new University of Michigan Mott Poll found that 52% of parents track the location of their young adult children ages 18 to 25.

Most parents say they do it for peace of mind and safety. Nearly all believe it helps them worry less.

Yet one finding caught my attention: almost one in four parents who track their adult children admit that it sometimes makes them more anxious. In other words, the technology designed to reduce worry can sometimes feed it.

The poll raises an important question: at what point does safety become surveillance?

When my generation went away to college, parents might hear from us once a week.

Healthy or hurtful?

Today, many parents can see where their children are every minute of the day. One psychologist interviewed about the study noted that some college students have had to block their parents’ texts during exams because the constant communication became disruptive.

Technology has changed what is possible.

It has not necessarily changed what is healthy.

The study found that parents most often use tracking for legitimate reasons: emergencies, late-night travel, rideshares and general reassurance.

Those are understandable concerns. In many situations, location sharing can be genuinely helpful.

If a young adult is traveling alone, meeting someone new or driving across the country, having a temporary safety net can provide comfort to everyone involved.

Safety or supervision?

The challenge comes when tracking evolves from protection into monitoring.

The report gives examples of parents questioning why their young adult is not at work, in class, or at an appointment. I've also heard stories of parents commenting on gym attendance, social activities, or daily routines because a location app revealed information that would otherwise have remained private.

At that point, the issue is no longer safety. It's supervision.

Stifling growth

Young adulthood is supposed to be a period of increasing independence. People learn by making decisions, managing time, solving problems and occasionally making mistakes.

Constant observation can interfere with that developmental process. If parents always know where their children are and what they are doing, young adults may have fewer opportunities to develop confidence in managing their own lives.

So how should families think about location tracking?

Here are a few questions worth discussing:

• Does tracking reduce anxiety for both people, or only for one?

• Does the young adult freely agree to the arrangement?

• Are there clear limits on when tracking will be used?

• Is tracking being used primarily for safety, or for monitoring behavior?

And these questions:

• Does the arrangement support independence or undermine it?

• Would temporary location sharing work just as well as continuous tracking?

• Are there situations—travel, emergencies, late-night rides—where tracking makes sense, while everyday life remains private?

• If the roles were reversed, would parents be comfortable being tracked under the same rules?

These questions may create an opportunity for families to have more balanced conversations about privacy, autonomy and trust.

Understanding and trust

The goal should not be to choose between safety and independence. Healthy families need both.

Technology works best when it serves as a safety net rather than a leash. As young adults move toward full independence, parents face one of the hardest tasks in parenting: staying connected while gradually letting go.

Location tracking may help with that transition. Or it may make the transition harder.

The difference often comes down clear understanding and trust in both directions.